I’ve got asked on FS today.
Что делать, если твой бывший мол.чел-к, кот.сейчас в армии, а ты его, дура, зачем-то туда еще и проводила, признался тебе во вновь вспыхнувшем чувстве (причина расставания – его измена)? P.S. Я уже давно счастлива с другим, и говорила, чтоб забыл и т.п.
Recently, I’ve gone through some shit, which is not quite the same, but this question just reminded me about this. I don’t know where to start, because the story is a little bit difficult for understanding.
It was summer’08, and I was young, sweet and naive. It was a town – let’s name it V. – where we met for just 5 days; for the first and for the last time. Then he seemed like the best guy, I had ever met. He had this rocker attitude; something, that has always attracted girls. He was bad enough for me to like him, but good enough for me not to punch him in the face, when he was getting too harsh on me. It wasn’t something special, just another guy from my not-a-very-good past, but he was there; and for 5 days I was absolutely happy. Or was it 4? Yeah, I guess so, he left 1 day earlier.
I never got into thinking about him as of my soulmate, or anything. He was just a way to relax for me at first, but only then, when I got back home from that town I realized, that there was something more. I liked him, and I wasn’t sure about anything in my life except for that thing. It was magic. It was something that I couldn’t possibly get rid of and it was something that was able to make my heart beat faster.
We spent countless hours on IMs and stuff like that and the most self-confident girl in the world was glad that such boy was spending that much time with her – and it didn’t matter that this was all going on on-line. And I could never possibly understand that.
Then I went to the U.S.A., and so did he. We lived in different states and that was pretty much impossible for us to meet somewhere. I knew that, but I kept hoping. I thought about him a lot, and even though there were tons of guys out there (with two of them I even got into a love-stuff), he had a unique opportunity to occupy my mind for 24/7. Skype replaced IM, I could see his face, and this fantasy world began to seem more real.
We came back. It was summer’09 and it was one of the strangest summers ever. Everything changed for me – new people, new city, everything was too new for me, everything changed. But he stayed. He stayed on the screen of my computer, with shorter hair, but with the usual ghost of smile on his face. He was charming. He was like a kid trapped into an adult’s body. His smile, his hair, his words… I was clearly falling for him, and so I was stupid enough to tell him that; stupid enough to trust him. He never said the same thing to me, but he did imply on that every time we were on Skype. And I was happy to have even that.
Then he got a girlfriend. Wow, man, that was harsh. Funny fact: she’s got the same last name, as I do. And that’s when I saw him from some other side. I’m clearly a possessive person, and he knew that. But I guess it was some kind of pleasure for him to make me nervous and jealous. Oh yes, I know he was happy as hell. He was still stunning, still sexy, but not entirely mine any more. K, I need to confess. I’ve got a boyfriend, too. So late night Skypes came again with mutual harassing, hints and promises now. He had this way of never telling what he felt, but he always in some way let me know about his feelings. All our talks ended with me swearing and him looking at me through the web-cam with his usual smile on his face. It was twice when he got really mad and I thought I would lose him. I didn’t.
So it stayed like that for a long time. And only recently I have realized, that this shit wasn’t working out for me. I was tired of being promised a nice future, meaningful songs, late-night talks. And then S. came and slowly occupied my mind with the thoughts about him. I think that guy realized he was losing me. He even promised me to come to St.-Petersburg in August or September. Well, I didn’t need that anymore. And I realized, that when you have a man, who is not afraid to tell you he loves you, who will come whenever you need him, who will trust you and never let himself be rude to you – you don’t need anyone else. You don’t need someone from the past, who just wasn’t sure about your status in his life, who preferred to manipulate you, who was rude to you, who was never there when you needed him and who you now realize you never loved. And when you’re happy with someone in the present, you don’t want your past to come and ruin everything. Just let it go.
I know you’re reading this; and I’m sorry.